Succeed to Give Up?–or–Give Up to Succeed?

I am sure that anyone who has read my musings knows that my main focus and desire is love.
I spend my days hoping and dreaming that he will just show up. I spend my nights wondering if he sees the same stars I do.
When I hear a love song, I wish and wish that I was dancing with him. When I watch a romance movie, I wish and wish that I was being held tight by him.
I want the romance. I want the companionship. I want the relationship.
Why is that so hard to find? I can’t be the only guy who wishes and hopes and dreams that I could find love (in my current location). Could it be that I am the only one that says what he wants and means it?
When I talk to my friends, they tell me the same thing over and over. They tell me that the reason I can’t find romance and love is because I am looking for it. They tell me that the second I stop searching, I’ll be found. What? I used to believe that but it is such a farce to believe it. When I stopped looking, I was found alright. I was found by many Mr. Wrongs. When I start to search, it seems to scare off all the wrongs and it seems to be this warning light that I am looking for something real.
I don't know how I could really just give up and stop looking for something that I want more than anything else in this world.
It is so sad to see people today. When I was a closet case, I was like the Apple and every gay guy was my Eve. When I came out and didn’t know what I was looking for and really wasn’t looking, I was so appealing. But nowadays, all has changed. I am like the shark in a tank with guppies.
*I’m not trying to sound conceited or anything, just telling like I see it*
I am checked out, but that’s it. It is like they look at me and then get scared off by confidence or they don’t even attempt to talk to me. When I do talk to them, it is nice. But as soon as they learn that I am looking for something REAL and that I am not looking for sex, my appeal plummets and they loose interest and/or get scared away.
I suppose that I just needed to vent out my frustrations tonight. But it really does get hard when you know that you have so much love in your heart and no one to really give it to.
I feel everyday that he is on the other side of the wall, or the door, or the window, or even right behind me. But when I get to that other side or turn around, there is no one standing there.
If it is only one gift that I have inside, it is my ability to never give up. As long as I have air in my lungs and a beating heart in my chest, I am never going to give up. I know that you are there somewhere…you have to be.